The strangest things happen to me when I take my kids out in public. Not only does my family get a lot of attention for merely existing in larger numbers than the usual 2.1 kids per family, we hear a lot of “My goodness, what well-behaved children!”
I’ve had (and I’m sure other good moms have, too) dozens–maybe even hundreds– of ladies and gentlemen go far out of their way to speak to me in restaurants and even church to tell me how fantastic my little brood is, and how they wish all kids could be like that. My husband has gotten compliments from people we don’t know when the children aren’t even around, but who saw my kids and remembered them for being really “good kids”!
To be perfectly honest, I am bewildered when I hear this. I’m grateful to hear it, and proud of my children, but I don’t know that they’re very different from many other children. They get tired and cry, they bicker about toys and who touched whom, and they sometimes need to be disciplined for serious misbehavior. For a few years, I thought that this was probably just people being nice and trying to encourage an obviously tired mother. But when I see news like this, I realize that it’s true. Children are not expected to behave themselves in public anymore–or anywhere else.
Starting July 16, McDain’s, a Pittsburgh-area restaurant, will ban children under the age of 6 from its dining area. Restaurant owner Mike Vuick said the policy came in response to complaints he’d received from older customers about kids causing a ruckus. In an email to his clientele, Vuick wrote, “We feel that McDain’s is a not a place for young children … and many, many times they have disturbed other customers.”
In all the outrage, though, one little quote says it all for me (emphasis mine):
McDain’s is a small restaurant that seats 40 people. It’s nestled on a golf course, so it’s natural that the casual eatery caters to an older clientele. Vuick said, “We have had lots of older people complaining, and the parents refuse to do anything about their kids’ behavior. They just ignore it.”
These seemingly hard-hearted business owners are right. Most children are brats! If most kids were being properly raised, my perfectly normal children wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb just because they’re behaving like civilized people, now would they? I assure you, I am not some kind of super-mom with magical abilities to make children behave. Nor do I drug them before we leave the house. I simply expect good behavior, and I enforce my expectations. It’s not hard. I’m just consistent and reasonable.
It is not the fault of the children when they behave so badly, either. I’m amazed at parents who are so angry at the patrons of this restaurant, the owner, and the airlines who ban kids from first class. They’re angry at the wrong people. They should be angry at the other parents who are “raising” these brats! If there were a cultural expectation that parents both can and should discipline their small children, this sort of thing wouldn’t be happening.
So here’s my plea:
Parents, would you please pay just a bit more attention to making your children adhere to social norms so that my children aren’t banned from enjoying a normal life? Mine are presentable, and frankly I don’t appreciate having them categorized as undesirables just because you’re too lazy or too soft to expect them to behave themselves. Your precious cupcake isn’t nearly as cute to the rest of the world as she is to you, especially when she has her teeth dug in to leg of the stranger in the next seat.
Make your kids mind, or don’t be surprised when other people don’t want to be around them.
Would You People Please Stop Ruining My Dinner? is a post from: Get Along Home